Just the TIP Tuesday - It's OK to say NO
Just the TIP Tuesday - One tip at a time
Bringing you weekly TIP’s on Transformation, Inspiration, and Purpose.
016. It’s OK to say NO
Happy Tuesday friends! Today’s TIP is “It’s OK to say NO”…boy howdy this has taken me 30 years to learn!
I used to pride myself in being a YES GIRL but I have finally learned it is OK to say NO. Don’t get me wrong, it's still good to say yes to great opportunities and fun activities, but there has to be a balance. I used to say YES to everything, I mean everything! In turn, I left a lot of people disappointed, which was the opposite of what I was trying to do.
I was a “People Pleaser” to the extreme and by saying yes, I thought I would be making everyone happy. I honestly could not ever say no. It is like “no” wasn’t English and I really didn’t know how to get that word out of my mouth when people asked me to do things.
I recently learned that every time I said YES to something, I was actually saying NO to something else. That had never occurred to me before. So all this time I thought I was saying YES to everything, I was really saying NO to so many things.
Through this discovery I realized my priorities were completely out of whack. The things I was saying YES to were pleasing other people and I was basically saying NO to myself and the things that would make me happy, productive and successful. I was setting myself up for failure...and not the good kind of failure.
I had to start setting boundaries at work and in my relationships. I had to start saying NO when it didn’t align with my purpose and what I was trying to accomplish in life. I had to start turning my phone on silent when I was working on projects.
Once you realize what is most important, you need to give ample time to that ONE thing and the only way you can do that is by setting aside time each day for that ONE thing and eliminating all distractions.
Gary Keller illustrates this in his book, “THE ONE THING.” He says “It’s the essence of keeping a commitment. Start turning down other requests outright or saying “No, for now” to distractions so that nothing detracts you from getting to your top priority. Learning to say NO can and will liberate you. It’s how you’ll find the time for your ONE thing.”
The way to protect what you’ve said YES to and stay productive is to say NO to anyone or anything that could derail you. “If you don’t make your life about what you say yes to, then it will almost certainly become what you intended to say no to.”
With all that said, I certainly have not mastered the art of saying NO, but I'm practicing it daily. We can do this together! Let’s make it a goal to say NO to at least one request a day (that doesn’t align with our purpose) this week and see how much more productive we are at accomplishing our goals!
Please shoot me a message and let me know how it goes!
With love and gratitude,
PS: you can feel free to say NO to this challenge ;)